Short People

Remember the Randy Newman classic from the late '70's "Short People". In that song he says "Short people got no reason to live", but, I have found their purpose. I have now flown 5 times in a Embraer ERJ-145 and have had a differenct Flight Attendant on each flight, not a one of which was over 5'5" tall. The most memorable of these was Nelson, a middle-aged asian man with designer glasses - quite dapper in his uniform. Nelso also took his job more seriously than most. I think he was a tour guide in a previous career.

I am now working on a theory that it is intentional. It actually comes in quite handy for them. Even at my rather average height I have to duck when every 5 rows to go under a cross brace. They, on the other hand can happily wheel the beverage cart up and down the aisle. It is a cute little cart; I would have to bend over to get ice or pretzels, whereas it is just the right height for them. It is narrower and shorter than most and designed for only one person, no serving from both sides.

So what other jobs could be reserved for the vertically challenged? I mean really, a lot of jobs would be difficult for them. Even as a parking valet they would have to adjust the customers seat to park the car. In a commercial kitchen the prep tables and stoves are not the right height. Public speaking always looks funny. But they are just right for something. How about as plumbers? Think about the last time that crack weilding heavy weight tried to crawl under your sink to work on the disposal or install a new faucet. Or air conditioner repair, climbing in attick crawl spaces. Put your ideas in the comments below today's post and I will create a poll from them.

Doing The Charleston

Flying into Charleston (no, not that one - WV) for the first time made me think of the movie Air America with Mel Gibson. You remember, the civilian airline, run by the CIA, in Vietnam, delivering arms and supplies in Laos, where we officially never went.

Was it the beautiful mountains, the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants pilot, or maybe it was the runway itself. Remember the scene where he takes the new guy out on a run and find this runway.

See, when you build a runway on the top of a mountain there is always a wind, and when space is limited you have short runways. Combined, you get to land small planes in high winds.

I was okay with the "bouncy" approach in the rain, in fact it was a little reassuring to hear the flight attendant yell "Ride 'em Fly Boy!", but when the plane started leaning over AFTER the wheels touched the runway I wasn't so sure. I just knew the wing was going to scrape the runway! It is good thing I have direct pipeline to God since you can't use your cell phone "while the main cabin door is closed". By the time JC and I had said our peace we were at the gate.

Well, "gate" is a bit of a misnomer. I climbed down the rope ladder, climbed into the cargo hold and unloaded my bag. I was preparing to walk towards the faint light in the distance, presumably the terminal, when I was abruptly stopped by a flashlight weilding airport ninja covered in reflective tape. "Sir, you must wait for the other planes to reach their gate" (yes, real gates - covered, heated, and plane height).

Did I mention wet and cold? This is where my Boy Scout survival training paid off. As the only one carrying a supply of Clif Bars and rain gear, I new that I would survive the night. I caught myself sizing up the rest of the team though, deciding who would drop first and what kind of sauce would be appropriate. Something zesty for "Z"; Sweet and Sour for Long - no, too sterotypical; maybe a mole for E&Y.

Back to the two Charlestons, you are not the only one who thought of SC before WV. One of the vendors to the project got booked into SC by his travel department. That's okay though, it is only a 7.5 hour drive. Note to self...